I am a Idiot
by pu-chika-chika
Summary: No A so Au. Emaya/Emison love triangle with definite Emison endgame. Ali realizes she is losing Em and tries to win her back. K for now but the rating will probably increase later on I don't know yet.
1. The Emotional Party of the Century

**Hey was-sup this is my first fan fiction Yay. I am going to try to keep this story going. this is most definitely the most angsty of all the chapters to com. My grammar was terrible so I edited I guesses really should have looked over my work the first time. Sorry:-[**

"One, Two, THREE." They chanted in unison, well as much unity as they could manage since both of them were considerably drunk. The liquor burned the back of the two girl's throats.

Hanna the lesser of the drunken two spotted their friend and stumbled her way over to her. "Hey Ali," she slurred as she brought her in for an awkward hug "I thought you weren't coming tonight," she was barely able to manage the simple sentence. "Oh my god Hanna how much have you had to drink?" she questioned slightly amused by the display. Hanna squinted trying to remember and held out a sideways five. "You are such a lightweight," Ali stated.

"Hey, I am not nearly as… drunk as Aria and she had less then me." Just then as if then as if to prove her point Aria staggered over slightly falling sideways. "Hey girlfriends," she sing-songed , as if she was celebrating something and brought Ali into yet another awkward hug. "I thought you weren't coming tonight," she garbled then let out a quiet burp.

"My other plans cancelled," Ali said being her typical cryptic self. "Do you guys know where Emily and Spencer are?"

"Spencer's over there talking to her other nerd people," Hanna pointed over to a crowd of people who were laughing about something spencer had said. "And Emily is hanging out with Maya," Aria continued. Ali clenched her jaw deciding to let her guard down a little since both Aria and Hanna were drunk off their asses. She hated Maya it wasn't anything personal though. She just thought Maya and Emily spent way too much time together. About a couple of months ago Emily and Maya had gotten really close. So close, Emily had actually been skipping on plans with her friends to hang out with her. Yesterday though, was the straw that broke the camel's back for Ali. Alison had invited Emily over and only her, when she didn't show up Alison had been shocked, Emily never missed a chance to be alone time with Ali. And not only had she not shown up but actually forgot they had plans.

In a desperate attempt not to do something stupid Ali decided to change the subject. "So, Aria's where's Noel shouldn't you be draped around his arm," Ali said with obvious pride; she was the one who got them together anyway. Hanna started to shake her head vigorously. Then Aria burst out into tears. Alison was taken aback by Aria's emotional 180 even though some of it could defiantly be blamed on the alcohol. "They broke up today at the party," Hanna explained as Aria sobbed into her shoulder.

"He… Cheated… on …me," she relayed in between breaths.

"That dirty man whore, I promise he won't get away with this," and Ali meant it. She was very protective of her friends especially Aria and Emily, them being the sweet ones and all. Ali left Hanna to take care of the bawling Aria that she inadvertently created.

Ali walked outside in an attempt to work the room and see if there was anything she could find out. There probably wasn't, but frankly she didn't want to have deal with Aria and Spencer and Emily seem to be preoccupied. The string of lights wrapped around the trees and poles gave a beautiful almost eerie glow to the yard that went unnoticed by its drunken occupants. Ali starred admiring the beauty of the shimmering forest when she heard a loud 'Whoop'. She pinpointed the sound as coming from a group of routy boys. She walked over to them to see what all the fuss was about. She saw the seemingly leader of the group was holding pictures that appeared to be taken from the photo both at the party. She could only hear snippets of what the boys were saying, but words like 'dam nice' and whistling stood out to her though. "What the hell are you perves looking at," Alison said with her usual air of confidence. "Oooo busted," one of the boys said arising drunken laughter from the crowd. "Hey your this girl's friend right," the boy said Ali just stared at him incredulously then he showed her the picture. Her heart dropped no, not dropped cracked inside her chest. Her mind raced a million miles per second, but one thought stood out among the rest, it was probably the most idiotic, she willed the picture to go away like somehow if it wasn't here it wouldn't have happened. If the picture wasn't there than that meant Emily never did it.

One deep breath, however was all it took to collect her thoughts, temporarily at least. "You creeps," she said releasing some of her pent up venom, as she snatched the scarring photos from the boy's hand. His reflexes were much to slow to stop her. "Hey give us those back," he demanded arising agreeing chants from his peers he tried to take the pictures back. "Why don't you find some other girls to perve out on your friend David is probably an expert by now," the boy she referred to bowed his head in defeat causing playful teasing from his friends. She gave a deadly smile and stocked off.

Usually she would have stayed and enjoyed the banter she had dirt on at least half of those jerks. This wasn't usually she wished it was though, oh how she wished it was. It could have actually been an enjoyable situation for her finding out a secret about a friend. But this was definitely not usually as much as she would like to believe it was, it wasn't. As soon as the shrubs covered her back she let herself break down. Her walls crashed opening the floodgates of emotion she kept hidden so well. She sat down in at a near-by rock letting out a scream that was muffled by her tears. And that same idiotic thought played _if you destroy it will go away._ So, she tore up the picture in almost minuscule pieces and threw them on the ground kicking dirt over the remnants. This wasn't just simple jealousy playing through Ali's head no it was much stronger. She knew Maya had the ability to give Emily something she couldn't, love. This picture signified Emily tiring of her games, Emily moving on.


	2. Unintentional Heartbreaker

**Authors Message:**

**Second Chapter yay :-) I am really trying to do what i think would happen in this situation so sorry for the angst. I really hope you guys like the chapter. It's so angsty personally I love angst but I know a lot of people don't. Review plz and i am happy i have already gotten some reviews I am not alone :-) **

That night was a swirl of vodka and shots for Aria, Ali and Hanna. Ali and Aria obviously were trying to forget the hurt they felt that night and Hanna just wanted to drink and party.

The next morning they wake up. Hanna lies on the floor drool making a puddle beside her, while both Ali and Aria are passed out on an unfamiliar bed. Last night they passed out at Noels. They told Spencer they didn't want to go home when she tried to round them all up. Well more like whined so Spencer left them there and decided to pick them up in the morning. Emily left the party early and rather suddenly without any of the other girls' knowledge.

"Wake up!" Spencer yelled to too the girls, jolting them awake with splitting headaches.

"Turn it off," Hanna said in a daze. The other girls just groaned.

"Spencer what the hell," Ali said in an uncharacteristically weak voice.

"I am sorry but I have been here for ten minutes trying to get you guys up."

"My head is splitting," Aria whined Ali responded with a sympathetic groan.

"Well, that's what you guys get for drinking so much," Spencer scolded. "Now come on I had to cover for all you and I am pretty sure your parents are getting suspicious because it is like twelve o' clock in the morning already and they still haven't heard from you." Ali tried to go back to sleep but Spencer saw it and hit her with a pillow. "Hey!" she yelled as loud as she could without hurting herself. "Get up all of you," Spencer reprimanded. So, all of them did not having the energy to fight anymore. Aria and Hanna took the car ride as an opportunity to sleep in the backseat. Ali on the other hand starred out the window trying not to move too much so she didn't anger her soar body.

Eventually Spencer broke the silence. "I understand that Aria was hurt and Hanna was just being Hanna, but why did you get smashed," Spencer asked the question out of pure curiosity, but Ali took it as a challenge as she did almost every questioned. Ali held strongly to the belief knowledge was power. Knowledge was what she used to bring her enemies to their knees. "I'm sorry Spencer, but some of us actually like to have fun," she snapped returning back to her view of the window. Spencer even though, she was the bravest of Ali's four followers knew not to press on the issue, it just wasn't worth rest of the car ride was quiet.

When Ali gets home she passes out on the couch only getting up to eat and make a hangover concoction, her friend once told her about. Luckily, her parents weren't home to see this even though they probably wouldn't care too much about it anyway. Last time she came home drunk she was with a boy and all she got was a disapproving look from her mom as she and him ran upstairs. This hangover was one of the worst she had ever had. Which didn't surprise her since she consumed the most liqueur she ever had in her life last night.

The next day she had school again and she cursed the fact that she wasted an entire day. Of course, she blamed Maya even though she had no right to. And she blamed Emily which she even realized was wrong. She saw Emily at the beginning of school and noticed she was acting rather skittish. Ali was right Emily had seen Maya that same day and practically jumped out her skin. "Hey Emily," Maya said in her typical easy going voice.

"Oh hey Maya," Emily slightly stammered.

"I got you something for you, I saw this and thought it was the greatest color on the planet," She said while she placed a red scarf around Emily's neck. Emily smiled in gratitude and love but it quickly dropped. This felt like PTSD kissing then acting like nothing happened, the gifts.

"Are you okay," Maya asked.

"Yeah totally," Emily said regaining her voice.

"Is this about the pictures," Maya asked the question kind of quietly, trying to not make Emily feel uncomfortable. This however made Emily think Maya regretted their kiss. She already worried about it. She had been hurt so many times before it was impossible not to.

"W-what no," Emily said trying to avoid the subject she just wanted to forget about it. It made everything between them so much more complicated.

"Look if you want to just forget it we can," Maya said looking defeated. Part of Emily wanted to say she wanted to forget it, but a much bigger part didn't she liked Maya a lot and Maya at least acted like she liked her. This bigger part though was stomped out by rationality. "Look we were both kind of drunk," that was a lie Emily barely had anything to drink that night, "and I just don't want this to complicate anything between."

Maya swallowed the information like a huge pill "Yeah, fine." It was obvious she was crushed though.

All the girls sat in their usual places around the lunch table Spencer and Hanna on one side and Aria and Emily on the other. Ali usually sat either across or next to Em. This time she sat next to her she felt it was more personal and she was trying to win her back after all.

"Cute scarf Em," Spencer commented.

"Is it new," Hanna questioned.

"No," Emily lied. None of the other girls noticed it was a blatant lie except Ali who could read Emily like a book. She wondered why she would lie about something so simple.

Ali wasn't very interested in the lunch chatter she was to focus on her own thoughts like how she was going to get rid of Maya. She knew she couldn't bully her into submission like she did Paige and Emily didn't even have feelings for Paige they were just friends. This was different Emily had actually kissed Maya. Every once in a while she was pulled out of her mind commenting on the basic things she didn't really care about, as to not arise suspicion. Nodding her head every once and a while when asked a direct question. Lunch could not end quick enough she hated having to sit there with her thoughts, but she did formulate a plan out of it which was good. The bell rung signaling lunch's end.

When they got to the halls Emily started walking in the opposite direction of Ali's class. Alison imminently noticed, "Aren't you going to walk me to class Em," she said with a little bit of annoyance. The whole situation pissed Alison off it reminded her of Emily's new found distance from her.

"Oh yeah sorry," Emily said genuinely, her mind had just been so clouded with thoughts of Maya. Emily changed directions and started walking next to Ali.

"Its fine," it wasn't.

"So Em, I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my house after school to study," Alison asked.

"Yeah sure," she said happy for the distraction.

"Cool you can walk me home then," she walked into her class "Bye Em," she said it with the tiniest hint of seduction that didn't go unnoticed by Emily but she shrugged it off thinking was all in her head like everything thing that happens between her and Alison.

The walk to Alison's house is ripe with chatter. Emily had missed this. She and Ali hadn't been spending as much time together as they used to, and Emily could feel the wall that was growing between them, she didn't like it. Ali opens the door with the spare key under the mat and leads Emily up to her bedroom even though Emily knows Ali's house by heart. When they get up to the room they take out there math textbooks and start on their homework, about a half hour in though Emily catches Ali starring at her. "What are you looking at," she says with amusement as blush slowly creeps onto her face. "You don't know it do you," Ali says still caught up in her own world.

"Don't know what."

"How beautiful you are," She says it with so much love and admiration it turns Emily's cheeks a deep red. Ali does something that surprises both of them. She kisses her. Shocked it takes Emily a few seconds reciprocate. When she does both of them feel like they're in heaven. But when Ali's tongue sweeps across Emily's bottom lip, Emily does something she has never done before; never even dreamed of doing before, she pushes Ali away. Ali is more than stunned she can't believe Emily would do that to her it felt like more of a nightmare than real life.

"I can't do this," Emily says surprised by her own actions. It takes Ali some time to process Emily's words but when she does the severity of the situation floods to her brain.

"I think you should go Em," is no harshness in her voice only hurt and remorse her voice cracks at the last word. Emily thinks to herself this must be the first time she has seen Ali show this much emotion besides anger. Emily just nodes her head and walks out the door without hesitation. And just like everything that happens between them they never talk about it again.


End file.
